Prepare for When You're Afraid

This week I did something that scared me so much it was like trying to relax while sitting in a bathtub full of big hairy spiders. 

I have a part-time admin job. Last week was our annual general meeting which was of course, online. I took on “tech support” for our meetings. I am the most unlikely candidate for that role (read technophobe) but everyone else was super busy and I wanted to help.

I diligently did my research and spent days walking through every scenario looking for what could possibly go wrong on Zoom and figuring out how I would fix it. If nothing else I figured this ironic role provided a legitimate outlet for the pessimist in me.

We got to our first day of meetings with our association members and MPs.  There was zero time in between meetings and no room for errors. 

Meeting one went well and my confidence cautiously began to build. Meeting two also went well and I was starting to feel smug. Then meeting three happened. 

The meeting started without a hitch but as the end-time approached I knew I was going to have to initiate a dreaded move of doing two consecutive calls at once. This involves reassigning the “host” roles to someone else on the call so a second call can be started while the first is still going. 

I had tested this function and felt certain it would work, but it didn’t. This is the moment in time when preparing to be afraid has a crucial function. As my fingers shook violently over the computer keys I heard myself saying, “You’ve got this. Breath.” 

Just this small phrase and the simultaneous action of focusing on long exhales for a few seconds allowed me to at least hit the computer keys I needed to get the next call going. The alternative was completely freezing and being unable to solve the problem. This is big progress because, in the past I have had to ask someone else to jump in resulting in me feeling inadequate. (If only I had known about self-compassion then!)

Fortunately, that was the only glitch and the rest of the meetings went smoothly but by the end of the day my neck felt like it was made of concrete, my lower back was aching, my stomach was a bundle of knotted cables and my heart rate was still mimicking a sprint runner. I could have just ignored this buildup of stress, but I had prepared for this and got to my yoga mat to recover. 

I sat in easy pose and connected with my inhales and exhales allowing myself to release the day with every breath out and get my heart rate back down. Then I added in a few neck stretches to transform the cement in my neck back to flesh, child’s pose to ease the kinks out of my back and a supported back bend to release the knots in my stomach. After about 15 minutes I was feeling so much better.  Good thing because I had to do it all over again the next day!

I feel so fortunate that these relaxation techniques are now second nature to me. The only reason they are is because I literally practice almost every day to be prepared for the days that scare the hell out of me. 

If you don’t already have your stress reducing tools handy I hope you will sign up for the course I put together exactly for times like these.

Do you have a story of a time where you used some kind of relaxation technique to get you through a difficult time? Let me know in the comments below.

Lori Chamberland has been practicing and teaching relaxation techniques for over three decades. She if the founder of Balance Relaxation Therapy and has produced a multitude of online resources to help people find practical ways to reduce stress.